And Now Freakin' What
by signaliduna78
Summary: Follows my story ‘And Now What’, but there’s a little summary inside. How are Alex and Izzie coping with their relationship that no one knows about, and what will happen along the way? A/I, mentions of MerDer.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:** Still don't own anything, still not making money off of this! Everything you recognize belongs to ABC and Shonda Rhimes._

_**A/N**__ This is somewhat of a sequel to my story 'And Now What', though no prior knowledge is required. In it, Alex and Izzie were forced to take a two-week vacation as they hadn't had that time off in between their internship and residency. They spent some time in Miami, Florida, where they basically got back together. After returning home, they decided to keep their new relationship a secret for a while, to see where it would go without being scrutinized by their friends and colleagues. _

---

_**Six weeks later**_

"We're going out tonight." Izzie looked up from her newspaper, wondering who Meredith was talking to. After making sure that no one else was around, she dared to ask. "Who's we?"

"You and I. I feel like catching up," her roommate replied casually as she went through their fridge, looking for some milk that had actually run out last week or so.

"Mer, I told you at work already, I don't feel like going to Joe's…"

"We're not going to Joe's."

Izzie rolled her eyes at 'we'. "You mean _you're _not going to Joe's. And where else would you possibly venture to?"

"I don't know," Meredith stated in her matter-of-fact, 'this is not up for discussion'-voice, finally giving up on her fruitless search for some liquid to pour over her cereal. "We'll be spontaneous. Come on, get dressed."

The blonde doctor sighed and gave her expression an exhausted edge just to highlight her point. "You do realize I'm almost falling asleep talking to you, right?"

Meredith was having none of it though. "Izzie. You haven't been out of the house in forever. You just go to work, come back home, eat and sleep. I barely see you anymore, even at Joe's." Izzie inwardly groaned. She could hardly tell her friend that she spent her nights having amazing sex with her even more amazing boyfriend, who just happened to be their other roommate. No, she and Alex were not ready to tell people about their relationship yet, they had just talked about it the other week. They liked having their privacy, and it wasn't like they had to sneak around much either. Meredith still spent most of her free time with Derek or Christina, so she usually wasn't present in her own house, leaving Alex and Izzie to do as they pleased. And _where_ they pleased. Apparently, tonight was not one of those nights.

Meredith tried a different approach. "Come on, Izzie. When was the last time the two of us did something? Just us, no one else? We're both not on call. When does that ever happen? And besides, …"

"OK!! Ok…I'll go, but Mer, please stop talking..."

--

A couple of hours later, the two friends were sat in a bar that wasn't Joe's, in another part of town. Meredith had excused herself to the restroom some minutes ago, leaving Izzie to sit in their corner booth, staring into space. She hadn't lied earlier, she wasn't feeling well at all. She'd been sick all morning, throwing up the contents of her non-existent dinner from the night before. She had a terrible headache, and to top it off, she was dead on her feet. So as she sat in a bar, nursing her second mug of hot chamomile tea (the bartender had looked at her quite funny after she'd ordered her second cup), Izzie felt like crying. Nothing was going according to plan, and it was not the best feeling in the world.

Meredith had thankfully forgotten she'd wanted more details on why Izzie was acting weird lately – and on her and Alex's Miami vacation. A few weeks, six to be exact, had passed since their return and so far, their game of hide-and-seek was going well. It also was a challenge at times, and not even nearly as funny as Monica and Chandler had made it seem on 'Friends' all those years ago. However, things were going well. Or, to rephrase that, things HAD been going well. Ever since Monday, when she'd seen all those very many sticks turn blue (or yellow, pink, double- or single-lined and plus-signed – those pregnancy tests were a science in and of themselves really, and Izzie thought it was no wonder there were so many false positives) in the sanctuary of her bathroom, she wasn't so sure of anything anymore.

It was times like these that Izzie wished for a girlfriend. Not just your regular female friend that you go out and have fun with, or that you chat to on the phone about the latest sweater you bought. Not just another roommate or co-worker that you adore, but would never share your darkest secrets with. No, a real, for better-or-worse girlfriend who knows you better than you know yourself. Growing up in a trailer park, there were no lifetime friends to be made, most neighbors moving in and out of there within months. The model business was nothing if not fake and shallow, so Izzie doubted that any of her acquaintances from back then would even remember her stage name, much less her real one.

And what hurt her most was that she could not turn to her Mom in times of need either. Grace Marie Stevens had never understood her daughter's ambition to achieve more than what was presented to her. Waitress in a dingy diner, hostess in a bar, a cleaning lady at the local McDonalds – those were some of the highlights of her career. She had never needed more because the idea of self-fulfillment and a successful career were concepts she deemed out of her realm of possibility. So the day Izzie had given up her daughter Sarah and headed out into the great big world to achieve more, her Mom had told her in very few words that if the life she had provided for her was not good enough anymore, she could walk and never look back. When an angry Izzie replied that the life that had been provided had never really ever been good enough in the first place, the battle lines had been drawn. After that, apart from a few strained phone conversation here and there, contact had been kept to a minimum by both parties, both too stubborn to admit they needed each other.

Izzie cleared her throat and took another sip of the hot liquid in front of her. She had been thinking a lot about her Mom in these past five days, and wondered if the gap between them could ever be lessened, or preferably, bridged completely. Neither her nor Alex had any family to speak of, at least none that she knew about, and she didn't want to raise her little one without a support group around her. Especially since she had no clue how her beloved boyfriend would take the news. Izzie herself had already decided that she was going to keep the baby – no matter what. Going through the trauma of giving up a child – your own flesh and blood – had been unbearable the first time around, without prior knowledge of the amount of guilt and pain that was to come. Now that she knew how it felt – like your own heart was being ripped out of your body while you were alive and watching – she was 100% sure she could never go through it again. She didn't believe in abortion either, there was still too much of the sweet little Christian girl in her that had been taught in school that killing your child was the ultimate sin in the Lord's eye. And while she had long ago started to question many things she had been told in church, she couldn't help but agree on the matter of abortion. She imagined it'd be kind of like giving up a child for the ultimate adoption – only that you couldn't tell yourself they were better off dead. She had the slight hope that maybe Alex would see it the same way.

Which brought her to the next dilemma. In order to explain her thought processes to her boyfriend, she would have to start off by actually admitting to him for the first time that she'd been pregnant once before. And while she didn't think he would make a big deal out of it, she was scared of his reaction nonetheless. True, they had no rules about telling the other every single detail of their lives before they met – she certainly had no idea about much of Alex's past – but she did think that holding back the fact that she had an unknown daughter somewhere out there was more than just a small tidbit of info that you conveniently forgot to mention.

When Meredith approached their table sometime later, she was chatting on her cell to what could only be Derek. No one else was able to evoke that kind of silly grin from her usually slightly pessimistic roommate. Said girl flipped her phone shut as she sat back down.

"That was Derek."

"No way! Judging from your smile I thought it might have been Santa Claus."

Meredith just shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "He wants to move in."

"Who? Santa?"

"Izzie. I know it's a lot to take in right now. And I'm not kicking you or Alex out. At least not yet." She smiled. "Just, you know…whenever you find something is totally fine. But I guess I'm telling you to maybe start looking into things…"

A huge grin spread across Izzie's face as her eyes started to water slightly. She opened her mouth to reply, to tell her friend that she was happy for her and that of course she'd be looking for another place to stay, but no words came out. Meredith looked at her and was about to launch into another explanation when Izzie couldn't hold it back any longer. She started laughing hysterically. She couldn't have stopped if her life had depended upon it.

Meredith, along with the few other patrons that were scattered about the bar, started to look at her as if she'd gone crazy. Funny, Izzie thought to herself, because that was the exact feeling she had. Homeless and alone, with a baby on the way that she had no time to raise as she was in one of the most time-consuming jobs ever, in one of the most competitive programs in the country. So while she was at work, it would actually just be her baby that was homeless and alone. Izzie had no clue when she'd stopped laughing and started full-on sobbing, but at that particular moment, she just didn't care.

--

Meredith closed the door to Izzie's bedroom softly just as Alex was ascending the stairs. It had taken forever to get Izzie to quiet down, so Mer put her index finger to her lips, signaling to her friend to remain silent. To answer Alex's questioning glance, she just pointed downstairs, indicating that she'd be right behind him. After changing into something more comfortable, she found him in the living room, staring absent-mindedly at the TV. "What happened?" were the first words out of his mouth, and Meredith thought it sounded a bit too anxious and accusatory to pass as a worried friend. But then again, Alex always cared deeply for Izzie, no matter their personal situation. So she sighed and decided to tell him the full truth.

"It was probably my fault Alex. Izzie was tired and didn't really feel like going out, but I kind of forced her anyway. Then I mentioned that Derek was planning on moving in, and she kind of just started crying hysterically."

Alex shrugged his shoulders. "Don't beat yourself up over it, you know Izzie. She gets emotional sometimes, she'll be better once she's had some sleep."

"I guess…I just feel bad, you know? It's like I told Iz, I don't want you out on the streets next week. Just…maybe you could start looking for a place. You know, eventually…"

"Don't worry, I will. Don't wanna be kept up by you and Shepherd doing nasty things up there."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Good night Alex. Thanks for understanding."

"Night Mer. And don't worry about Iz. I'll talk to her tomorrow, alright?"

--

After Meredith left, Alex sat in front of the muted television, thinking back on his conversation with his roommate. It was true what he'd told her, Izzie was indeed quite emotional. To completely break down in a public place out of nowhere…that might have been a bit much, even for his girlfriend. Oh well. He'd let her get a good night's rest and ask her about it in the morning. After all, the prospect of getting a place together with the pretense of having to move out was too good an opportunity to pass up. Surely Izzie would see it the same way.

---

_A/N I know, I know…how predictable is a baby? But hey, it's what I wrote, so it's what's there ;) Please review and thanks for reading!!!_


	2. Chapter 2

When Alex awoke the next day, it was to the sound of vivid chatter filtering up from the kitchen, combined with the clatter of breakfast being prepared. None of the girls were on-call that weekend, so he assumed that they had made up whatever it was that had been going on between them yesterday, and were back on speaking terms. After a quick shower, he headed downstairs to join his two roommates.

Meredith was the first one to look up when he entered. "Look who's decided to join us! The man himself."

Alex's gruff reply soon followed. "Shut up, I was tired. Not everyone can have your energy this early on a Saturday."

At this point, Izzie decided to join their conversation. "Early? It's past noon," she smirked, raising an eyebrow. It was the first time he took a good look at his girlfriend since saying goodbye to her at work yesterday afternoon. She looked…pale. And tired. And somewhat…sad? He couldn't exactly place the emotions behind the mask Izzie hat put on for Meredith's sake this morning, but he assumed it still had to do something with their talk from last night.

Alex shook his head slightly and raised an eyebrow at his other roommate. "So Mer, not going to see Shepherd today?"

"Of course, I was just finishing up here. We decided to start going through some stuff he has in storage, see what I'll let him keep and what I'll have him throw out," she laughed, clearly happy about the prospect.

--

An hour later Meredith was out the front door, leaving Alex to wonder how to best start a conversation that was surely going to change his life forever. He found Izzie curled up on the couch wrapped in a thick blanket, watching a rerun of 'That 70's Show'. He grabbed the remote from the coffee table and muted the sound, resulting in a first-class Izzie glare. He just shrugged his shoulders as an apology and placed her feet onto his lap, massaging them softly.

"So, how are ya?"

His girlfriend mustered him for a moment, probably wondering where he was going with this. The second Meredith left the house, they were usually all over each other, never knowing how much time they had exactly, making the most of their few undisturbed hours.

"Good," she replied hesitantly. "Why?"

"Oh, nothing much. It's just that Meredith told me that you kinda flipped out at the bar last night, so I was just wondering if you were ok."

Izzie rolled her eyes before focusing her attention back on her series. "I'm fine. Can you please turn up the volume again?"

But Alex continued on as if she hadn't even spoken, looking at her expectantly. "Because I was thinking…if you need to find a place to stay, and I need to find a place to stay…Why don't we just find a place together?"

"What?" Izzie's eyes were back on him instantly.

"I know it's not the most romantic way of asking you to move in with me, but hey…I'm me, surely you weren't expecting anything else," he grinned. "So, how about it?"

"You'd really move in with me?", she ascertained incredulously.

"Of course! I mean, you cook, you clean, you're sexy – what more could a guy ask for?," he dead-panned.

Izzie rolled her eyes before grabbing the nearest pillow she could get her hands on and hit him over the head – repeatedly. Once they stopped laughing, Alex started up again.

"Seriously now Iz. We're already living together, it'd just be kind of like the next step. Think about it - just us, we could do what we want, no worries about sneaking around…right? And if it works out, in a few months, we might just as well not hide our relationship anymore…"

Alex sounded so genuinely excited at the prospect that Izzie was speechless for a second. Then her inner voice came back. _Yeah right, in a few months you'll be fat and showing and people will have figured it out anyways_. Instead of giving voice to those thoughts however, she plastered a smile on her face and tried to sound enthusiastic. "Great idea." The kiss that followed was hot and breathtaking and led to things that made her forget about her worries for the next couple of hours.

--

Later that night, Izzie lay in bed, tossing and turning. Meredith had not returned home yet, which had given her and Alex the perfect opportunity to relax in each other's arms in front of the television after their three rounds of sensual love-making on the couch earlier. She couldn't exactly pinpoint the subtle change in Alex's demeanor lately, but she had the feeling that the surer he felt of her feelings for him, the more he could let go of the mean, sarcastic, sometimes slightly hurtful Alex that he presented when he was around other people. And while he had always shown his softer side for her when they were alone, she definitely could sense an even deeper commitment now, even if it was still mostly left unspoken. Him asking her to move in with him, even if done in a joking manner, represented that change in a very tangible way.

Izzie sighed softly and looked over at Alex, who was sleeping deeply beside her, envying him for his peaceful rest. She knew she had been cranky lately, and actually admired Alex's patience with her. She'd never pictured him to be the guy who would just accept her bitching without yelling back, but apparently there were a lot of surprises still to be discovered about him.

Of course he was in for the biggest shocker of all, which was the real reason she was up now and couldn't even fathom how she'd ever be able to sleep again with a secret as big as this one – a pregnancy – between them. She knew that the longer she waited, the harder it would get, and still she couldn't find it in her to start the dreaded conversation. If she had hid in the bathroom after their then-one-night stand in Miami because she couldn't find the right words to say, how would she ever possibly find the right time and place now?

She also worried about her first appointment she had made with her OB/GYN next week, who was in fact just 'a' OB/GYN that she had found in the phone book. The only thing he had going for him was the fact that he was about as far away from her hospital as one could be. In fact, she doubted he was even within Seattle's city limits anymore. At least that bit of knowledge gave her some piece of mind, because she was sure that she wouldn't have to worry about anybody snooping in on her business. Izzie groaned again.

She was supposed to get up early tomorrow morning to clean and do laundry, and most probably to throw up, and she still didn't have any clue how to turn her mind off.

----

_Thank you sooo much for all your lovely reviews, they actually make me wanna write more :) I can't promise regular updates with this though, but I **will** eventually finish...thanks for reading and commenting guys!!!_


	3. Chapter 3

Alex sat in the relative quiet of the almost-deserted cafeteria, picking at his french fries. Most of his colleagues were either napping in an on-call room or scrubbing in somewhere, so he took the opportunity to stuff in some semi-decent lunch. While he stared at his food without much appetite, he couldn't help but feel worried. And while that sentiment was not a foreign concept to him, it was a novelty when his concerns focused on a girlfriend. But since this girlfriend was not just any girl, but his very own beautiful Izzie Stevens, he thought worrying was actually allowed and appropriate.

He couldn't help but speculate. Ever since he'd suggested moving in together a couple of days ago, Izzie had been somewhat distant. It was not obvious to anyone but himself, since no one else would find it odd that she didn't spend every waking minute in his presence. He had noticed the subtle changes though - the not sitting beside him for lunch, not dragging him into the first supply closet after arriving at work just so they could quickly kiss goodbye, not calling him at night to let him know she'd be late and ask if she should pick something up for dinner. He'd asked her about it twice now, but her excuse had been that she was busy, and he couldn't exactly deny that. They all had hectic schedules, but that hadn't kept them from doing all these things before, and now that those simple actions were missing from his life, he wanted them back – preferably yesterday.

Alex took a sip of his coke. He would understand Izzie's hesitation if they had never lived together - then the mere idea of it would be enough to have him running for the hills as well. But considering the fact that they had been roommates for the better part of a year now, Alex couldn't figure out what the problem was. He'd mentioned it to her in passing, but the only reply he'd gotten was that she was worried about decorating the place because she wasn't sure their tastes matched. He'd just rolled his eyes and told her that as long as pink was banned from walls and accessories, she could do whatever the hell she pleased. That hadn't calmed her down whatsoever though, so now he was back to being worried.

Furthermore, Izzie was nowhere to be found at the moment and Alex had no clue where to start looking. One genius idea later, he figured her cell phone was probably the most obvious option and started dialing her number slowly. He didn't want to come across as controlling or, worse for him, concerned, but he still wanted to know her whereabouts, especially since it was unlike his girlfriend to bail on lunch without any prior warning. He'd checked the boards earlier and was certain she wasn't currently in the OR. A few short moments later, the monotonous dial tone was replaced by Izzie's tight-sounding reply.

"Hello?"

"Hey Iz, it's me. Where are you?"

"Driving. Why?

"Why? Why are you driving and not working? It's just after three…" His tone displayed genuine curiosity.

"I took the afternoon off. Totally forgot an appointment I had with my bank. They've been pestering me with calls lately and I figured I should probably take care of it at some point," she replied, thinking that it probably shouldn't be that easy to lie to Alex.

"I could have come with you, grab something to eat on the way..."

Izzie's voice softened slightly. "You were in surgery when I left, I thought I'd be back before you knew it. I'm sorry..."

"No worries man. Probably would have been, but the guy died on the table...So I'll see you later?", Alex questioned. "Later," she confirmed, letting out a deep sigh after hitting the 'end' button with her thumb.

--

Twenty minutes after her strained phone conversation with her boyfriend, Izzie sat in the waiting room of her OB/GYN's office, pretending to read one of those typical trashy magazines. On any given day, she had no problems immersing herself in the exhilaratingly sensational lives of the Britney's, Lindsay's and Paris's of this world, but today, not even the apparently impending split of Brangelina could hold her attention. For the hundredth time in the last few days, and especially after her talk with Alex earlier, she wished she didn't have to sit here alone.

_You didn't have to be here alone, _her annoying inner voice reminded her, _you chose to._ Izzie rolled her eyes at herself inwardly. She didn't know when her sensible side had started having conversations with her emotional one, but her new-found rational mind was already starting to piss her off. Apparently, while other expecting Moms went crazy or weepy or both, she had turned into a level-headed bitch. Or maybe the voice only appeared because she plain out couldn't deny that what she was doing was wrong. She knew her boyfriend should have been here today. She knew she wanted her boyfriend with her today. And yet he wasn't, because she had been too scared to face him, to look him in the eye and tell him that he was going to be a father for the first time. In her head, she had gone over the million different scenarios of how and when, yet in reality, the perfect opportunity had not presented itself. They were either busy working, or had Meredith around, or were out to dinner and she didn't want to throw something as big as baby-news at him in public. _But you've also done a mighty fine job of avoiding being alone with him, haven't you? … Shut up!!!_

Maybe she _had_ thrown herself into work, maybe she _had_ been looking for excuses, but when the right time came surely she'd know…wouldn't she?

"Isobel Stevens? Dr. Lorenzo is almost ready to see you. After me please," the bubbly, too-blonde-too-perky-too-thin-with-too-much-silicon-in-her-breasts assistant to her OB/GYN, Annabelle, interrupted her musings. Izzie followed the Barbie wannabe into exam room one and forced a smile while answering questions about her symptoms and giving a brief summary of her medical history.

Once that necessity was out of the way, Dr. Alfredo Lorezo entered. He might have been in his mid- to late fifties, though it was hard to tell as Izzie had the distinct feeling that he and his right-hand-girl shared the same plastic surgeon - her new doc reminded her of Ken more than anything. Except that she couldn't recall that _her_ Ken had ever fallen asleep in a tanning booth.

After the obligatory handshake, Dr. Lorenzo jumped right in. "Will the father be joining us today?"

Izzie had expected that question. "Ahm, no, he has to work." _Good going girl, be honest with your physician, lie to the man you love…_Izzie cleared her throat and forced the corners of her mouth upward again.

Alfredo was quick to clear the awkward air that had descended upon them. "I see…well, let's start then. You've never been to see me right?"

When Izzie shook her head, Dr. Lorenzo continued. "I take it from your file here that you've been pregnant before, so this will be a piece of cake." His huge smile showed his perfectly bleached teeth and Izzie silently reaffirmed her Ken-theory. "Why don't we start with the examination, take a look to see if your pregnancy tests were right, ok? Once we have actual proof we'll go on from there…"

Half an hour later, Izzie found herself back out on the street, staring at the small picture in trance. There, amidst prenatal vitamin prescriptions and follow-up appointments, was her child. A huge smile spread across Izzie's face, the first real one in days. And all of a sudden she knew; no matter what was going to happen, the two of them – Mommy and baby – were going to be ok.

----

_Unfortunately I don't have time to reply to all of your reviews, but they truly mean so much to me!!! I love hearing what you guys think, so THANK YOU for letting me know :) And if you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them too. There'll be more A/I interaction in the upcoming chapters, promise…!_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N Sooooo sorry for the long wait between updates!!! I was on vacation and just got back, so to make up for it, I give you…this! ;) Enjoy…_

----

Izzie was sitting in the residents' lounge, staring at torn pieces of paper. She couldn't help but feel that this was too fast, too quick, that she had too little time left to come up with a plan. She took another sip of her soda while turning the newspaper clippings over in her hand for what felt like the millionth time. Alex was apparently anxious to get things moving along, there was no other reason as to why he had presented her with an assortment of local newspaper apartment listings. It wasn't that she didn't understand his rush. She herself was starting to feel a bit uneasy in Mer's house at the moment. It was never voiced out loud, but she had the feeling that Meredith couldn't wait to spend some time alone with Derek - as was her right. The two of them had been through a lot, and finally things were going great for them. Izzie couldn't fault them for wanting to enjoy as many waking minutes together as their busy schedule allowed. So she got where Alex was coming from. However, mentally, she wasn't prepared for that next step yet – not necessarily the moving, but the secretly-pregnant-what's-gonna-happen-next part that came with moving. That's why, up until now, she had been somewhat resistant every time the issue of apartment hunting came up.

Until this morning, when a stack of papers was shoved under her nose while she was quietly sipping her decaf mocca latte. Alex hadn't said anything, but the intention was clear. _Do something about it!_

The funny thing about her and Alex was that they did not have one of those relationships where they had to talk everything through in detail. She usually did anyway, attributing that fact to her bubbly personality, but Alex mostly just contributed the essentials. But when he did, boy, did he mean them. So when he had told her that morning in the kitchen that he didn't want them to continue screwing around the apartment issue and seriously start looking, he had been pretty firm on it.

Since Izzie had pretty much run out of excuses to put the dreaded search off, she figured the least she could do was appear interested in the newspaper clippings Alex had presented her, scanning the potential places that he had carefully highlighted with a random pencil. Quickly she noticed that all the places he seemed to prefer were one bedroom apartments – surely a temporary solution for him until they knew what they wanted/needed/felt comfortable with. She could have told him straight away that they would need a bigger place and would certainly feel more comfortable if they wouldn't have to share their only room with their child. However, to argue that point, she would have to present valid reasons, and those were hard to come by without mentioning words like 'pregnancy', 'baby', or 'diaper changes in the middle of the night'. But she figured she'd try anyway.

Things might have been better if she could just get her act together and be straight-forward, but as she herself had a hard time adjusting to the fact that soon she'd be responsible for another human being, she wasn't sure how Alex was going to handle it. She also realized that she probably should give him more credit that that, but her stupid heart wouldn't allow her to trust him completely when it came to overly emotional topics. And if having a child wasn't the ultimate emotional turmoil, she didn't know what was.

--

When Alex entered the lounge half an hour later, Izzie still hadn't figured out how to best approach the subject. Her boyfriend sat on the bench next to her, glancing expectantly from her face down to the table and back again. "And?"

"I'm not sure Alex. Don't you think we should at least get a two-bedroom? You know, just in case…" Izzie trailed off, not knowing how to best complete that sentence.

Alex's reply came quickly. "In case of what?"

She sighed exasperatedly. "I don't know! Maybe we'll get on each other's nerves a lot. Maybe you wanna slam some doors. Maybe we need an office. Maybe…"

"Stop. I won't wanna slam doors. If I need to work off some steam I'll go to the gym. You know that, it's what I do now. Besides, when have I ever slammed a door when you were around? Lately anyway…" It was a rhetorical question, Izzie knew that. He had indeed never really slammed anything, except once, when he had slammed poor George into the lockers. Izzie almost grinned thinking about it. But that had been a long time ago, and Alex was a different man now - doors, dishes, keys, they were all safe, and had been for a long time. She tried to think of a different approach.

"What about all of our stuff? I don't want that standing around everywhere, you know me. I like it clean and tidy."

But Alex seemed to have a comeback for everything today. "What stuff though? We each occupy a single room in another person's house. If we can store everything away now, we'll certainly be able to manage in our own apartment. Or do you have a secret stash of goodies buried somewhere in Mer's backyard?"

Izzie ignored his question. "All I'm saying is, a one-bedroom apartment can be tiny."

"And cheap. We're at work all the time anyway...What is it, do you want separate bedrooms all of a sudden? Because then we don't have to move in together at all." He raised his eyebrows and was starting to look more confused by the second.

"Well then, maybe we shouldn't," Izzie yelled, grabbing the papers in front of her and stuffing them into the trash can before leaving the room. Now she felt the need to slam something, and it was not the best feeling in the world.

--

Not even five minutes later, Izzie was sitting on a bench overlooking the emergency entrance, staring into space. She realized that she had completely overreacted just now, and knew that with a guy like Alex, you had to be careful. Asking her to move in with him had been a huge step, a big proof of his commitment towards her, and Izzie was on the perfect path to foolishly throwing it all away out of apprehension and fear. She didn't know why she couldn't just open her mouth and utter those three little words that would irrevocably change their history. _I am pregnant. I am pregnant. I am pregnant._ It didn't sound too bad in her head, and if she hadn't been so scared of the consequences, she might have actually tried saying them out loud.

--

Alex found her outside, sitting on a bench off to the side of the hospital, her head in her hands. It wasn't raining, but the air outside was still cool and damp from the most recent shower that had once again washed over the city. Alex grabbed a blanket that he found lying around the nearest gurney and decided to approach his girlfriend cautiously. Her mood swings lately were somewhat of a concern in his eyes, since he wasn't used to seeing his Izzie that way. Usually, when they weren't fighting, which hadn't really happened much recently anyway, she was like bright sunshine all year round, and he missed her positivity and optimism - two qualities of hers that had been seriously lacking in recent days. Nevertheless, he was determined to figure out exactly what was going on with his girl, so he could fix it if possible.

When he approached and placed the blanket over her shoulders, Izzie's watery eyes glanced up at him in silent apology. He sat down next to her and took her hand in his, playing with her fingers softly while trying to come up with an adequate opening to their…situation. Before he could find any words however, Izzie interrupted their strained silence.

"I'm so sorry Alex, I don't know what's gotten into me lately." She took a shaky breath, but didn't change their position. "Of course I still wanna move in together, it's just…"

Alex decided to meet her halfway. "It's ok. I mean, I get it, trust me I do. Doesn't matter that we're already kind of living together, it still _is _a big step. If I think about it too much, I actually get cold feet too. So maybe we shouldn't think about it at all and just jump in head first. Play it by ear. See what happens. Like we did with this whole relationship thing. Right?"

"Right…" Izzie replied hesitantly, forcing a smile on her face - one of the many fakes ones that had graced her features recently. Jumping in unprepared was definitely an activity she could foresee in her near future - she just hoped they would both take the plunge in the same direction.

----

_I know, I know, Alex still doesn't know! But he'll find out soon, I tell ya :) Pretty please review? THANKS!!! Oh, and YAY for the wedding! How amazing was that?_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N Ok...so I doubt anyone even remembers this story, because it's been ages since I've updated lol. Anyways, since I myself hate infrequent updates, I decided to more or less finish this story before posting again, which is why it took some time. It's still not completely done, but I'm getting there, and most chapters just need some finishing touches. So instead of getting an update every half year, you might actually get one every other week. If anyone's still reading that is ;) If you are, thanks for your patience and here we go..._

-----

Izzie took a deep breath and prepared herself. She was shaking all over, but couldn't figure out if it was from her nerves or from the serious lack of nutrients in her system. She had relieved herself of the contents of her stomach a little earlier, and was now more than starving. And scared. But this was it. They would be looking at their first potential home together in a few hours, and she had resolved to tell Alex before…after all he had a right to know. What would the perfect apartment mean if he didn't want to be in it? So she would just have to suck it up – and deal with it like a woman.

The knock on her door startled Izzie out of her reverie. "Come in," she voiced loudly, wondering briefly why Alex felt the need to pound on his own door. After all, he knew she was in there.

"What are you doing in Alex's bed?" Meredith's voice startled her and the wheels in her head started spinning. "Um…lying down?" she replied, hoping that that would be the end of it. Meredith rolled her eyes. "I can see that. Why don't you lie down in your own bed?" Curiosity filled her roommate's voice and Izzie feared that if they didn't change topics soon, the endless questioning that Mer was famous for would turn into a tell-all that she certainly wasn't prepared for amongst all the messes that currently made up her life. So she decided to do what almost came naturally nowadays and lie.

"I threw up earlier and Alex told me he'd make me some tea, so I just laid down on the closest thing I could find. Where is he anyway? And when did you get in?"

Meredith shrugged her shoulders. "No idea, I didn't see him downstairs. I just got home though, I haven't checked…"

Izzie frowned. Certainly her boyfriend would have told her if he had been called into the hospital, wouldn't he? She was almost hoping that was the case though. It would force them to call off apartment hunting for at least another day, and immense relief flooded her body as tears came to her eyes. She couldn't stand all the dishonesty and emotional turmoil that her life had become and it weighed her down to no end.

Meredith noticed the moisture that had gathered in the corners of Izzie's eyes and her features took on a concerned edge. "Hey, are you feeling alright?"

Izzie took a deep shuddering breath as a single tear made its way down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly with the back of her hand and forced her eyes shut, blocking out the onslaught of sobs that were sure to break free if she let them. She felt rather than saw Meredith sit down on the bed next to her as her roommate brought a cold hand against her forehead. "Hmmm, no fever…you feel a bit flushed though. How often did you throw up?"

"Only once," Izzie said as she finally opened her eyes again to Meredith's uneasy gaze. "It's ok, really…I think I ate something wrong last night. Plus, I'm tired, and Alex and I were gonna go look at apartments today. I think I just need a couple more…"

She couldn't finish her sentence. "You and Alex?!? You're moving in together? Why?"

Izzie rolled her eyes. She didn't have to justify her decision in front of Meredith, after all she was a grown woman. "Why not? I like him well enough, it saves money, it's easier to commute…don't forget I still don't own a car…"

Meredith looked at her friend questioningly and silently reaffirmed her Miami-theory, but didn't say anything. Clearly whatever was going on between Izzie and Alex was between them, and if they wanted to keep things quiet, well then, so could she. People would be surprised about the amount of things she knew and _didn't_ gossip about…

Meredith cleared her throat quietly and touched Izzie's arm. "Sorry. You're right of course. I'll go take a shower now…Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"Thanks Mer, I'm fine. I'll just sleep some more, I'll be brand-new afterwards."

Meredith sighed as she got up to head to the bathroom. "Ok…I'll check on you later, alright?"

As soon as the bedroom door was shut tightly behind Meredith's back, Izzie let out a strangled sob. She felt like shit today and wondered if at least everything with her baby was alright. Before she could delve into that thought however, the door to Alex's room flew open again and revealed her boyfriend, balancing a tray with hot tea and homemade noodle soup from the small family-owned restaurant around the corner that she had fallen in love with over the past few months or so. The small gesture brought tears to her eyes again, and she berated herself for not having enough self-control to keep her raging hormones in check. She made a mental note to talk to Dr. Lorenzo about it, maybe there were pills, or anything really, that could make her stop bawling her eyes out at every comforting word someone uttered in her direction, at every supportive action meant to make her feel better. She sniffled. At least the soup explained Alex's short absence earlier.

As soon as Alex saw the state Izzie was in, he immediately put the tray down on the nearest dresser and was by his girlfriend's side in an instant. "What's going on, are you feeling worse?" He placed a gentle hand against her forehead, much like Meredith had done earlier. Izzie often wondered about that particular gesture when one wasn't feeling well, because aside from determining a fever, no illness could be uncovered by the simple touch of skin to skin. Nonetheless, she found it oddly comforting and realized that it probably had something to do with remembering her childhood. Her Mom had never been the real motherly type, unless little Izzie hadn't been feeling well. Then, her Mom had doted on her to no end, making sure that her precious darling would feel better soon. Of course with the type of jobs her Mom had held, not working had meant no money, so Izzie figured making sure her daughter was healthy and able to take care of herself had been essential to their 'trailer park survival'.

Izzie managed a shaky smile while eying the tray that held the delicious-smelling soup. "No, no, I'm feeling a bit better actually. Maybe I just need to eat something…"

Alex grinned down at her and held out a hand to help her into a sitting position. "Well, that's what I'm here for." He stole a quick kiss before walking back to the dresser to fetch her meal. "Meredith's home," Izzie stated, their not-so-secret code for the fact that Meredith was home and nothing remotely couple-y was supposed to happen in order to 'protect' their not-so-new relationship.

"Oh yeah? Didn't even see her…," Alex trailed off, setting the bowl down in her lap.

"She's taking a shower."

"Ah. So, no apartment-decisions today, right?" he questioned.

Izzie swallowed a spoonful of the hot liquid before quickly shaking her head. "Oh no, no, I still wanna go. I put it off for too long anyway, and I know _you_ wanna get it over with too, so let's just do it anyway." She studied him for a second, anticipating his objections. She didn't have to wait long.

"I don't think…"

"I don't wanna hear it Alex. I'm going, so you might as well come with me. Or else, I'll pick something big and plush and expensive and high-rise, with a doorman, overlooking the city and…"

Before she could go on, Alex quickly placed a sweet kiss on her lips again to shut her up. When he pulled back, he smiled at her and brushed some lose strands of hair behind her ear. "Ok."

Izzie grinned back dreamily. "That was easy…"

"Yeah well…Even though I'd find your whining about not going absolutely charming I prefer to keep my woman happy," he joked, stealing a spoonful of her soup while she looked on absent-mindedly. When he made a move to get up, she placed a hand on his arm to stop him and suddenly, she found herself talking.

"You know, there's something we should discuss before we go out looking for places," Izzie started, but was interrupted relatively quickly.

"Yes, we _can _get a two-bedroom. I've been thinking about it, and it might work out better after all. Happy?"

"Very," she smiled. "Although there's something else that I think…"

_"Aaaaahhhhhh!!! ALEX!!!!"_

Meredith's scream from the bathroom could probably be heard by the neighbors down the street and Alex jumped up immediately. "What?", he yelled back from the hallway after stepping out of his room.

_"The toilet's all…clogged up and overflowing and shit…literally!"_ came Meredith's muffled reply that Izzie could clearly make out through the thin wall that separated them. She sighed and fell back against the pillows as Alex asked her other roommate if she was decent before taking a look at the mess. Another missed opportunity, another chance not taken, and she briefly wondered if the clogged toilet was a big, fat metaphor of what was to come.

-----

_I hate clogged toilets lol. Anyways, please review and make my day :)_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N Thanks for being so amazing with reviews guys, I really appreciate it! :D So, this story is turning out less and less like I planned, but I gotta go with the flow. Enjoy and review (again, pretty please?) ;)_

-----

It was a week after Meredith's bathroom disaster, which had taken up most of their entire Sunday - first with Alex trying and failing to fix what was wrong with a simple plunger, then with hours spent waiting for the plumber. Any plumber at all. None of the three roommates could believe how hard it had been to get a plumber out on a Sunday. One would believe they'd be scrambling for jobs with the amount of extra weekend charges they were allowed to add on, and one would certainly assume that those emergency numbers existed for a reason. Now they were wiser, and as far as her and Alex were concerned, still semi-homeless.

Alex was on call this weekend and had been paged in the middle of the night due to a five-car pile-up on I-5. Izzie had no clue when he'd be back and was currently cleaning out her closet. At eight weeks, she wasn't showing yet, but she had noticed within the last week that once perfectly fitting jeans had become somewhat tighter in the stomach area. Since that situation would certainly not improve within the next year or so, she decided to sort through her stuff now, without Alex questioning her sanity while throwing out her favorite pair of pants.

Meredith was working too, and Derek was currently sifting through his own pile of clothes, trying his hardest to make room in Meredith's overflowing cabinets. While the attending hadn't officially moved in yet, he was certainly well on his way to becoming a permanent fixture in Meredith's house, which had fueled Alex and Izzie's desire to hasten their search for an appropriate place to live. Other than that, Izzie had had a good week. Besides the fact of course that her boyfriend still had no clue about his impending fatherhood. However, she had resolved to tell him real soon, and had herself convinced that NOTHING would get in the way of it this time around. The knock on her door startled her and she opened it to Derek's stretched-out hand, holding the wireless home phone.

"Call for you," he stated, motioning his head in the general direction of the handset – as if she didn't know what do with it.

A feeling of dread washed over Izzie. She hadn't even heard the phone ring, and no one ever called the landline. No one even had that number, at least not to her knowledge. Free cell-phone minutes were a godsend, and everyone appreciated the caller ID that came along with it. Made screening a lot easier. "Who is it?", she mouthed, hesitate to answer while her arm reached out to relieve Derek of the receiver.

"Someone named Grace," he answered, shrugging his shoulders as he turned back towards the direction of Meredith's room.

Izzie slowly lifted the mouthpiece to her ear. "Mom?", she questioned timidly.

"_Cricket! Boy am I glad to get a hold of you!" _came her mother's chirpy voice through the line. _"How are ya darlin'?"_

Izzie raised her eyebrows skyward before replying tentatively. "I'm well. Is everything ok with you?"

"_Oh, just dandy! I moved to Castle Rock recently, and now I have my own little yard in front of the trailer. I'm trying to grow strawberries!" _Pride filled her mother's voice as she went on about the amenities of her new living quarters. Izzie spaced out for a minute. Castle Rock was about 30 miles south of Chehalis and even though the fact that Grace had moved was somewhat shocking, she still questioned her Mom's real motives for the call. Surely _something _was the matter, because even though Grace Stevens was known for many things, it was not for her fondness of courtesy calls.

"…_was thinking you should come down here sometime to check it out." _

"What?" Izzie could have sworn that her Mom had just asked her to come down for a visit. Surely she must have taken things out of context.

"_Why don't you take a trip down here soon? I'd love to catch up!"_

"You would?" Izzie couldn't keep the incredulousness out of her tone. This was definitely too much to take on a regular Sunday morning.

"_Darlin', of course! You remember Susan down the street, in that ugly green RV, right? Remember her daughter Trish? She was a few years younger than you. Poor thing just died in a car crash last month, and I've been thinking…life's too short to hold a grudge. My psychic told me in my last session that it was time to make amends, and I wanna start with you. What ya sayin'?"_

Izzie was too stunned to speak. She neither remembered Trish nor the ugly RV, but felt bad for its remaining occupant nonetheless. After a while, the clearing of her mother's throat brought her back to reality. "Ummm…I guess, yeah…yeah. It'd be nice seeing you Mom," Izzie stuttered, remaining cautious. She still had a hard time believing that her Mom would be willing to move past their rocky history and start over just like that, but she couldn't help but feel slightly hopeful either. She had never needed her Mommy as much as during her first pregnancy, and she had the conspicuous feeling that the same would hold true for her second one.

---

In the afternoon, a couple of hours after Alex had returned back from work, him and his girlfriend headed out again. Meredith would be spending the remainder of Sunday at the hospital, and Derek was in a grumpy mood, so the pair decided that the time had come to stop putting off the apartment issue for good.

The first two places they had looked at had been dismal, disgusting and smelly, one smaller that the other, with paint stains on the carpet and a definitive bug problem in one, and a broken water pipe in the other. After these chilling highlights, Alex was starting to realize that the search for an appropriate living space that both he and Izzie would love might take a lot longer than they had anticipated, when Izzie touched his shoulder suddenly and spoke. "Pull over here!"

Alex quickly looked around. "Why?"

"There's an open house in the apartment complex on the corner. Let's check that one out."

Alex glanced down at his oversized watch for a moment. "We're supposed to meet with that other realtor lady in fifteen minutes. Remember, the one who said…"

Izzie shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "So what? It's not like we need something from her…she needs _us _to make money. Come on," she persisted, "I have a feeling about this one."

Alex rolled his eyes and turned the car around on the deserted street. If all it took was a little Izzie-whining to agree to everything she wanted, he was seriously whipped. Not that he would ever admit that out loud – to anyone.

He had already granted her wish of a two-bedroom because it had put her mind at ease with the whole idea of moving in together, and even though he still thought it unnecessary, the couple hundred bucks more a month were a small price to pay compared to his girlfriend's happiness.

The couple entered the complex hand in hand and were immediately greeted by a receptionist, who took down some personal information and asked about what they were looking for.

They waited around for another couple of minutes, before a sleek-looking guy in his forties came to shake their hands. Hank, as he introduced himself, immediately started talking while leading the pair to the two-bedroom 'show-room'. Apparently all apartments were built in a similar manner, and the man, who Alex was sure had either missed his calling or was an actual, real-life car-salesman – and who had taken an immediate liking to Izzie – emphasized in the most over-the-top vocabulary the convenience, comfort, service and attractive features of the place. By the end of car-guy's twenty-minute monologue – and judging from Izzie's expression – Alex knew that he was looking at an exact 'show-room' replica of his new home. He couldn't have been happier.

"Alrighty folks," Hank's chipper tone concluded, "stay in here as long as you want, take a good look around, get a feel for the place. There's no rush, just come back out once you're ready, ok? And no funny business in the bedroom," he winked, before floating out of the room to meet his next unsuspecting potential customers.

Alex shook his head in silence while Izzie grinned. She walked up to him in replica-kitchen-land and placed her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He looked down into her chocolate eyes and smiled, drawing her even closer. "So…this is it, huh?"

Izzie nodded. "Yep. I'm loving it! You like it too, right?"

"Of course I do. What I like even more is that you like it." He smirked when she rolled her eyes. "You could be so adorable if you didn't steal old movie-lines," she grinned, leaning up to quickly kiss his ever-enticing lips.


	7. Chapter 7

On the drive home Izzie had gotten quieter and quieter, and her playful mood from earlier that afternoon had vanished. They had signed their rental agreement on the spot and were allowed to move in within the week, so Alex was wondering what had prompted the sudden change in his girlfriend's demeanor. But then again, maybe she was just tired. After all the day had been long, and it was getting late. His suspicions seemed confirmed when the first thing she did after arriving home was head towards the staircase that led up to their bedrooms. So when she turned around at the bottom of it, one hand on the banister, Alex thought for sure she'd say goodnight.

"What would you say if I was pregnant?" _That_, he wasn't prepared for. There really was no sense in a question like that either, he thought, unless…

"Are you pregnant?"

She looked him straight into the eye and he had his answer before she uttered the actual word. "Yes." Talk about a serious blow to the gut. This was quite different from goodnight – in fact, it was the exact opposite. He didn't know how the hell he'd have a good night, sleep at all really, after something like that.

He found his voice. "I'd probably take a quick walk to clear my head. Then I'd come back to talk about it. Would you consider that appropriate?"

She hesitated. "I guess..."

Before he opened the front door, something occurred to him and he turned to look at her again. "How long have you known?"

"Let's talk about it later, alright?"

"Whatever. I'll see you in a few."

---

Well, at least he'd stayed calm. He hadn't straight out bolted, he'd actually asked if it was ok to leave. And of course she'd said yes. She doubted he'd be back anytime soon though, no matter his promise. She hadn't expected a dance of joy, yet it still hurt to see his impassive face.

_Don't be petty now. You've known for weeks and haven't had the guts to tell him. The least you can do now is give him a few hours to digest the enormity of it all. _

Sometimes she hated the voice of reason in her head. Where was it when she really needed it? Nowhere to be found. If she wanted to wallow in self-pity for even a short amount of time, there it was, loud and clear as ever.

---

Alex entered Joe's bar and took a quick look around. Not a single person other that himself had found his way into the safe haven that was Emerald City, but considering it was well after midnight and tomorrow a regular Monday, it really wasn't all that surprising. He had driven around for a couple of hours before deciding on his favorite hangout-place, and it had obviously gotten late. Alex plopped down onto the nearest barstool and looked at Joe, who was drying off some glasses with a look of great concentration on his face. The bartender chanced a quick glance at his only customer and continued his work. He'd known Alex for quite some time now, and knew that his favorite patron would only talk if he was ready to. So he resumed his silent task, but not before shoving an ice-cold Heineken into Alex's general direction.

After more silence that seemed to stretch on forever - it had probably been a good half hour at least, and Joe had moved on to wiping his tables clean – the bartender couldn't stand it any longer. No words had been exchanged between the two men, and Joe and his bubbly personality couldn't take the dark brooding for another minute.

"You know Karev, technically I'm not even open anymore, so what gives?"

"Izzie's pregnant!" He hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, especially after vowing to take time to think things through by himself. However, if he had anyone in Seattle that he considered a friend, it was Joe. And while he refused to contemplate the issue of why his best friend in town was a guy owning a bar and therefore lots of alcohol, he knew without a doubt that he could trust Joe - to listen, to keep quiet and to give advice without judgment. That was all he needed in a friend, and all he wanted now.

"Oh! I'm sorry dude…but what did I tell ya? If you wait too long she's eventually gonna find somebody and move on…"

Alex stared at him, a blank look on his face. He then raised an eyebrow and for the first time voiced out loud the little fact that would change his life forever. "It's mine…"

"Oh! Wow! Wow…congrats man, when did you find out?"

"Probably like…," he paused, glancing at his watch, "some hours ago."

Joe's expression turned from joyful to stern as soon as the words had left his mouth. "Then what are you doing here?"

"I'm not ready to be a father Joe! If anyone knows even just a little bit about how I grew up it's you, and you…"

"Alex. Do you really think I was ready to be a parent? To wake up at all hours of the night because one of them was either hungry, or scared, or ready for a diaper change? To worry about how to teach them right from wrong, instill values that will make them fit into society 15 years from now and not become sociopaths? To face the challenges we had to overcome to raise twins as a same-sex couple? To have people point fingers in public because 'oh my gosh, how could two gay men care for these cute little kids'? Alex, no one is ever ready to be a parent. No one! Don't believe 'em when they tell you differently, because it's all about the learning by doing, not about the preparation."

Silence fell between the two buddies again, as Alex contemplated Joe's words.

"Look dude. I know you love Izzie, and I doubt anyone else could put up with your sorry ass anyway, so you got that covered. She obviously loves you because…well, she slept with you. Again. Repeatedly. Like I said, you're not an easy guy to get close to, yet she's willing to try. That counts for something."

Joe faced Alex expectantly, waiting for an answer, a statement, anything out of his young friend's mouth.

When he was met with silence instead, he continued. "Just imagine this Alex: a year from now, you'll have a little mini-you crawling around somewhere. If it's a boy you'll teach him to play football. If it's a girl you'll do anything she wants because she's going to look up at you with big brown eyes and you won't be able to deny her a single thing. If they cry, _you_ will be the one who knows how to comfort them. If they scream, _you _will be the one to discipline them. And when they tell you they love you, _you _will have earned the right to be on the receiving end of those emotions. There's nothing in the world that beats it, trust me."

When Alex looked up from his untouched bottle again, his eyes were shining, his voice almost pleading for his friend to disagree. "I don't know how to be a father Joe."

The bartender walked around the counter and placed a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Listen…you're not a musician, you're a doctor. You have a stable life and you actually help people instead of hurting them…Well, you probably hurt Izzie," Joe huffed, "but you know what I mean. You don't take drugs, you're not an alcoholic, you actually _care_ about other human beings, Alex. And you know what _not_ to do. Trust me, you'll make an excellent father."

Joe noticed that his friend was slowly running out of arguments, so he sat down beside him quietly to offer his silent support. Just when he thought that Alex might leave, his companion started on another tirade.

"She must have known for weeks! She's been throwing up lately, and she was so insistent on getting a bigger apartment. She was always feeling tired and vanished from work on more than one occasion. And when I asked her what was wrong she just said 'I'm fine'. She lied to me!!!"

Joe shrugged. "Well, considering how you reacted today, she probably should have continued doing so, at least you'd both still be happy."

-----

_Don't hate me!!! And please review? :)_


	8. Chapter 8

When Alex still wasn't home at 3 a.m. that morning, Izzie started to worry. It wasn't so much his whereabouts that she questioned. She actually had faith in him, trusted him with her heart again, and knew he'd never seek solace or comfort in the arms of another woman – not again anyways. _That,_ she wasn't concerned about, and she was glad for it. She had never known for sure if she was actually over the Olivia incident, and now, even though the circumstances under which she had to find out were unquestionably less than ideal, she at least had proof of that. No, she trusted him not to do anything stupid, and she also trusted him to come back. When, and in what frame of mind, was a different story.

When she heard her bedroom door creak open silently not even half an hour later, she took a liberating, deep breath. Time to face the music.

"Iz, you awake?", her boyfriend calmly questioned into the darkness.

"Yeah," she whispered, turning around to make out his shadowy form against the doorframe. "You coming in?"

Instead of answering, he made his way over to her bed and sat down. He placed a hand on her thigh on top of the comforter and started tracing patterns on the outline of her leg distractedly.

"I'm sorry for walking out Iz. I'm happy about, you know, the baby and all, it just came as a big surprise. Shocking surprise really," he half-smiled into the dim room.

"Yeah well…you don't have to tell me. I took like ten pregnancy tests just to be sure…"

She brought a hand out from underneath the blankets and placed it atop his, stilling his movements for a moment. She let her thumb dance over his tense knuckles before scooting over to make room next to her on the mattress. Alex got rid of his pants and sweater before climbing into bed. Once he had settled in, he repeated his question from earlier in the evening. "How long have you known?"

Izzie shut her eyes tightly and answered. "Three weeks." She anxiously awaited his reaction while holding her breath. Surprisingly, he managed to stay calm. "Why haven't you told me before?" She figured it was a legitimate question given their current situation.

"There's no good reason Alex. I was scared and needed to come to grips with the situation first I guess. I'm sorry."

Alex reached out and brought her closer to him, lessening the distance between them both physically and emotionally. "Well, I guess we're even then," he stated, before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "Now sleep, it's been a long day."

Ten minutes later, her boyfriend's steady breathing alerted Izzie to the fact that he had indeed fallen asleep rather quickly. She slowly extracted herself from his arms and descended the stairs to the kitchen, in dire need of a glass of water, or any other liquid she could find. She should be happy, she thought. Alex had come back, he'd told her he was happy about the baby, he'd apologized and had, in turn, also accepted her confession.

Then why had the whole exchange felt forced and contrived? Sure, it had taken her three weeks and she still couldn't get used to the fact that she was going to be someone's Mom. Somehow though, she had expected Alex to either yell or be completely over the moon. The calm acceptance he had offered seemed almost un-Alex-like, and she'd thought for sure that he would at least have tons of questions, if nothing else. Izzie sighed. She knew it was unfair of her to expect so much of him when he had known for less than six hours, and decided to wait for what tomorrow would bring instead.

--

The next few days passed in a frenzy, and Izzie was still under the powerful impression that the whole baby-thing could blow up in her face at any minute. Alex and her had agreed, once again, to keep the matter under wraps for now, at least until she reached her second trimester and, more importantly, until they had come clean about their relationship. Alex was supportive, and, considering they were moving their belongings into their new home this week, overly protective, just like she imagined any expectant Dad should be. What bothered her was the fact that, aside from the essentials like the due date and her next doctor's appointment, the topic of having a child seemed somewhat off-limits still. He made her tea when she threw up and asked questions about her well-being, acted lovingly around her like he'd always done, but other than that he hadn't shown any enthusiasm concerning her pregnancy. She didn't know if he was still digesting the news, pretending to be ok with it when in actuality he wasn't, or if he just needed more time to process and come to terms with the fact that his life would soon be irrevocably changed forever.

--

When Derek, who had helped to haul their remaining stuff over to their new place in his Range Rover, left that night, the pair began unpacking their boxes side by side, silently. Soft music was playing in the background while the clouds outside were conspiring to brew up the next big storm. Izzie glanced over at Alex's busy form several times, watching as his face showed great concentration for the task at hand. She had imagined their first full night at the apartment a bit differently. It certainly had involved less unpacking and more quality time in bed, christening every room of their first real place together. She sighed loudly. No such luck.

Alex looked up at Izzie's outburst of discontent, raising his eyebrows in silent question.

"Nothing. It's just that this isn't how I imagined our first night here. All alone. Without Meredith and stuff..." she trailed off, smiling suggestively. "You know?"

He brushed her advances off with a shrug of his shoulders. "Well, we gotta unpack at some point. No use in delaying the inevitable, right?"

"Right," she echoed deliberately. "You're _so_ right."

Alex ignored her snide remark and continued working, which started to seriously piss Izzie off. He should know better than to mess with a pregnant woman. Much less a pregnant woman in fight-mode.

"Hey Alex, did I ever tell you that I was pregnant when I was 16?", she started conversationally. She had to get a reaction out of him somehow, and even fighting seemed better at the moment than the complacent silence that had loomed over them ever since he'd found out they were expecting. Alex looked up quickly, the job at hand immediately forgotten. He urged her to continue with the motion of his hands. "Gave up the kid for adoption, obviously I wasn't ready then. Plus, I couldn't have given my daughter the life she deserved. What, with living in a trailer park and all…But now it's a different story, I'm at a different point in my life, and so are you. The past is the past Alex, and I'm starting to wonder if you realize that?"

Instead of focusing on her closing argument however, Alex zeroed in on the fact that she hadn't told him her little tale before now.

"You were pregnant before and didn't tell me 'til now? Story of your life, huh? Jesus Iz…what else did you lie about?" Before he could go any further, she cut him off.

"So what? I know next to nothing about your life before Seattle. For all I know you could have dropped down from Mars, deciding you want to try and be a doctor on another planet for a change."

He raised his voice just a bit. "Well, at least I don't have a kid running around somewhere that you know nothing about. Mars or wherever."

"It's not my kid, that's the thing!" Izzie repeated impatiently. "I just gave birth to her…"

"_Just_ gave birth to her?" he scoffed. "That's not exactly a small thing. Do you have a husband running around somewhere too? A dog? A mansion in the hills that you conveniently forgot to mention?"

Izzie had heard enough. Alex was being ridiculous. She threw her hands up in defeat and moved towards the exit quickly. "You know what? Forget it! Call me once you get over yourself…" Izzie spat, before slamming her new front door. Once outside, she took a calming breath and started walking. The light drizzle that had begun earlier was slowly starting to turn into pouring rain, which was a welcome refreshment against her burning skin. Since she had foolishly stormed off without her cell phone or her keys, she could only think of one place to go that was within walking distance.

-----

_Thank you so much for leaving reviews, I really REALLY appreciate every single one! And thanks for reading :D_


	9. Chapter 9

When the incessant pounding on her door wouldn't go away, no matter how hard she tried to block it out, Cristina finally left her comfy position on the couch to give whoever was disturbing her late-night serenity a piece of her mind. Callie was actually at home, currently screwing Mark in her bedroom, so it couldn't be her, and the only other person that frequented her home was her best friend Meredith. And that girl had a key. Christina was about to start yelling when her eyes fell upon a soaking-wet bundle of picture-perfect misery, also known as her barbie-coworker Ms Stevens.

"Izzie. What the hell?" Cristina opened the door wider to let her friend pass. Well…'friend' in the wider sense of the word. She mustered her from head to toe, challenging look in place.

"Hey Cristina. What's up?" Izzie fake-smiled, knowing she couldn't fool Cristina for a second.

"What's up? Are you kidding me? It's 11:30 at night, that's what's up. We don't randomly hang out at those times of day," she stated incredulously. "Unless at Joe's of course…" she added as an afterthought.

"Well…I had a fight with Alex, and you were the only one within walking distance." Cristina was known for her honesty, surely she could take the fact that she was first choice only by proximity.

"You should've known better than to move in with him. Did you really think he'd leave his skanks outside the front door? Come on…" Cristina rolled her eyes for good measure and moved to the kitchen, pouring a glass of water for her guest. "You want some dry clothes? You can take the couch if you don't mind the moaning."

"Moaning?", Izzie repeated, before getting an earful live and in action. She pursed her lips. "Ooohh…moaning. I get it."

Christina just stared at her, obviously still waiting for an explanation. "I need to borrow your car."

The other woman burst out laughing. "Haha. Good one. Just go to sleep, you can catch a ride to work with me in the morning." As she was about to turn around to head to her bedroom, Izzie reiterated her request. "No, seriously Cristina. I need to borrow your car. Please?" She forced her prettiest fake smile on again, knowing it would do nothing to soften her coworker. Said girl finally seemed to realize she was being serious.

"It's 11:30! Where are you going? Are you sick?" Cristina lessened the distance between them with a few quick strides, placing her hands on either side of Izzie's face to take a good look into her eyes. "High?"

Izzie took a step back to free herself from Cristina's grasp. Ignoring her imploring stare, she told the truth. "I need to visit my Mom."

"You're Mom." Cristina echoed. "It's 11:30! Don't you have work tomorrow?"

"What are you, the talking time-clock? And I'm calling in sick." Izzie was getting tired of playing twenty questions when she wanted to get a move on. She needed space, and distance between here and wherever.

Cristina apparently sensed her serious undertone and moved towards the dining table to rummage through her purse. A few seconds later, she returned with a set of keys, dangling from her index finger.

"Drive careful. And know that I'll need my car back eventually."

Izzie nodded her teary-eyed appreciation. "I'd hug you, but…"

"Get out of here. Now. And take my sweater." Cristina shook her head as she closed the door behind Izzie's fleeting figure. She had a feeling that she just got sucked into some type of drama that she wanted nothing to do with. At all. Whatsoever.

--

"What do you mean, she's not here? Where else would she be?" Alex yelled, decidedly too loudly for 3 a.m.

Meredith stared at her friend through sleepy eyes, ushering him inside with a quick nod of her head. She silently moved to the kitchen, starting a pot of extra strong coffee. She had a feeling it was going to be a long-ass day. Not even two minutes later, Alex returned to her side. He put his elbows on the kitchen island and his head in his hands, rubbing his tired eyes. "Shit, shit, shit, shit," he muttered into his hands before slamming his palms down onto the countertop. "Shit!" he repeated loudly, before resuming his previous defeated position.

"You know, there are people sleeping in this house that have to get up for work soon," Meredith stated softly, not wanting to set her friend, the one she almost considered a brother, off again.

Alex nodded before straightening up somewhat. "Sorry Mer. I'm looking for Izzie."

"No kidding," Meredith bit back. It definitely was early, but not _that _early.

"What'd you do to piss her off now? You guys haven't even been living together for a week…" Meredith semi-whispered drowsily, willing the caffeine to kick in sooner. Three hours of sleep just weren't enough, not without the hospital adrenaline pumping through her body.

Her friend sighed in defeat. "I fucked up. Really big this time."

"Bigger than Olivia?" Meredith's interest picked up. Maybe this was worth being up for after all.

Alex nodded. "Much bigger."

"Seriously Alex," Meredith scolded. "You couldn't even have waited until you guys got settled in?"

When no reply came, she noticed the devastation in her former roommate's eyes and figured that this might actually be big indeed. She took his hand and pulled him up from his slouched position over the counter, leading him upstairs to his former bedroom. She shoved him inside and put her coffee cup down on the nightstand before lying down on top of the blankets, facing the ceiling. She closed her eyes and waited.

Alex looked down at his friend. He was at a total loss. He had expected Izzie to be here, crying, or yelling, or ignoring him altogether. Now that she wasn't, he had no idea how to go about making things right. Because making things right would involve talking, and talking was sheer impossible if his girlfriend was nowhere to be found. Alex sat down on the carpet by the foot of the bed and let his head fall back onto the soft mattress. The recognizable crack in the ceiling felt familiar and safe, and he relaxed just the slightest bit. He was utterly exhausted, but knew he couldn't possibly think about sleeping. Izzie had wandered off without anything, no keys, no cell-phone, no wallet, and he was worried sick. The mother of his child was out there somewhere, possibly hurt or injured, most certainly alone, and he had just stood by and let it happen. He was an idiot times five trillion.

--

Cristina stared at her phone idly, willing it to give answers she knew it couldn't possibly have. Izzie had seemed extremely distraught earlier and Cristina regretted letting her leave the second she had heard her car start up. Now, more than four hours later, regret had mixed with fear when she realized that Izzie hadn't even brought a handbag, and the calls to her cell had been left unanswered for the seventh time in a row. Without a single minute of sleep, and without the prospect of getting any, Cristina sighed and slowly got dressed for work. No sense in beating herself up over something she couldn't do anything about, and the hospital always provided much-needed distraction.

--

Two hours after her rushed departure, Izzie drove through the gates of her Mom's new trailer park slowly. She hoped with all her heart that her Mom had just changed lots, and not the actual vehicle itself. Because if she had…well, the chances of finding her in the pitch-black darkness were pretty much slim to none. Or rather, just none, and Cristina's beaten-up Ford Taurus did not look like it would make for a good night's rest.

Relief flooded Izzie's body when, after five minutes of concentrated search, she came across her old home. It looked even shabbier now than it had ten years ago, but at that particular moment, she couldn't have cared less. She took a deep breath before exiting her ride, and walked up to the front door cautiously. When her Mom's sleepy form appeared in the doorway not even two minutes later, Izzie couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She threw her arms around her shocked Mom's petite frame and started sobbing hysterically, the events of the previous week finally catching up with her.


	10. Chapter 10

Izzie awoke early the next morning with a burning throat and a sting in her eyes. She guessed those were common side effects when you spent the night crying your sorrows away, but she had definitely seen better days.

After Grace Stevens had led an inconsolable Isobel into her trailer last night, no words had been spoken except for the hushed whispers of comfort that she had muttered into her daughter's hair while hugging her close. Now, she was leaning against the kitchen counter, silently mustering her only child over a cup of tea.

Izzie looked up only to find her Mom's questioning gaze upon her. She noticed that hot chocolate had been prepared and left for her on the dining table, but no words had been spoken yet. It was then that Izzie leapt off the couch without warning, rushing off to the bathroom in a hurry. No matter how little she ate, her convulsing stomach just wouldn't settle down before noon.

When she reemerged sometime later, her Mom smiled knowingly. "So, you're pregnant again…congratulations darlin'! I assume you're gonna keep it this time around?"

Izzie briefly wondered how the hell her mother knew, but figured it was useless speculating. She was a Mom after all, and Moms just _knew_ things. Maybe out of instinct, or maybe simply because this exact scenario was like history repeating itself.

The blonde doctor drew in a shaky breath as she confirmed her mother's suspicions.

"You wanna go for a walk darlin'? I'll show you around my new neighborhood," Grace suggested, holding out a steady hand while waiting for her daughter to take it. It was time for some serious bonding.

--

Cristina finished tying her shoelaces and was just about to rise from the uncomfortable wooden bench in the resident's locker room, when her colleagues Alex and Meredith burst through the door, looking around feverishly. It was just past five and no one else seemed to wander the halls of Seattle Grace yet, so seeing those two so out of breath immediately sent her body into action. She jumped up. "Where's the emergency?"

Meredith gasped before putting a hand over her heart to still its racing. "Alex needs to borrow your car!"

"You're joking, right? Don't you own a car Evil Spawn?" Cristina felt like a weird-ass player in some lame game that she didn't realize she was participating in. This situation just seemed too familiar to be coincidental.

Apparently Alex had lost the ability to form words, as Meredith was acting as his spokesperson again. "It's back at my place and a piece of junk that won't get him anywhere, so we drove straight here from my house. Just give him the keys," her friend urged, eyes conveying the gravity of the matter.

Cristina was at a momentary loss for words, not something that happened on a regular basis. She opened her mouth, just to close it again a second later, an expression of total bewilderment gracing her features.

Meredith was rapidly growing impatient. "Cristina, hey!" She waved a hand in front of her person's face. "Car keys?"

The Asian woman was at a crossroads. Was Izzie's abrupt departure in the middle of the night supposed to be a secret? And if so, was she supposed to keep it even though technically they weren't even close friends? While she contemplated that dilemma, she thought of another proposal, and turned to Meredith. "Just give him your car! What's with my car that people have grown to love all of a sudden?"

"Well, my car kinda ran out of gas a couple of blocks down, hence the running…What, you think I've taken up jogging in the middle of the night? Shame on you, you know I'd never go without you."

At that point, Alex decided to join their conversation, sensing it was slowly getting out of hand. Those two could bicker back and forth the whole day while never actually talking _to_ each other, and he had more important issues at hand. "Yang, I need your car asap. I _promise_ I'll get it back to you in one piece." He wouldn't go so far as to beg, it _was_ Cristina after all, but if she didn't hand over those damn keys soon, he'd actually consider it.

Cristina seemed to make a quick internal decision before stepping slightly away from Meredith to fully face him instead. "I don't know where my car is. But if you find Izzie, tell her I'll need it by Wednesday."

"What?", both Alex and Meredith yelled at the same time, causing Cristina to cover her ears quickly. "Ow!"

Alex jumped forward and grabbed her by the shoulders, determined urgency filling his voice. "Where is Izzie?" And just like that, a light bulb went off in Cristina's sleep-deprived brain. Maybe _skanks _hadn't been the problem after all. This seemed more like a good old lover's spat that she had, unwillingly, been dragged in the middle of.

"Don't know. Same place as my car I'm guessing?"

"Cristina," Meredith interrupted, exasperated. "Just tell him, I'll give you the run-down later."

The other doctor shrugged her shoulders, growing tired of this game. "Said something about visiting her Mom. I didn't know she even had one…within driving distance at least."

"Ok," Alex breathed, clearly holding back the anxiety that had built up. "Now, where does her Mom live?"

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Do I look yellow to you? I don't know, like a phone book?"

Alex threw his hands up and turned to Meredith. "Mer, give me your keys please? I'll catch a cab to the next gas station."

Meredith wordlessly handed over the stainless steel goodies, watching worriedly as Alex raced back out where they had come from. She wearily glanced at her best friend, who only shook her head. "Seriously? You look even worse than I do!"

--

While Alex raced southbound on Interstate 5, breaking every speed-limit available, he briefly wondered how many trailer parks could possibly exist within Chehalis's city limits. He vaguely remembered Izzie talking about growing up there and figured he'd just have to knock on every single door period. For once in his life though, he didn't care if he was making a fool out of himself. He had to fix things with his girlfriend, and nothing and no one was going to stop him.

It was like he had told Mer last night; his first reaction to Izzie's pregnancy news had been fear and self-doubt. He wasn't scared of the responsibility itself, but of how it was going to affect him in the long run. His Dad hadn't always been violent. The stress of having to provide for a family with two small children had somehow pushed him over the edge. In his rational mind, Alex knew that he was nothing like his old man, but who could guarantee it was going to stay that way?

Initially, after his talk with Joe, Alex had somehow figured that he'd just apologize to Izzie and everything else would magically work itself out. When that hadn't happened however, and their fragile truce had come to a sudden end last night, he knew that he'd have to sort out his deeper issues first before being able to fully commit to Izzie and his soon-to-be-born child. That's where Meredith had come in, letting him talk about his past and listening objectively to the drama that had been his upbringing. Somehow, he had found comfort in her silence, realizing for the first time that talking about things was not only _not_ overrated, but actually easier than he had always assumed. The fact that he'd been able to open up to Meredith hadn't come as a big surprise either, since the other woman was pretty much his non-emotional soul mate, if things like that existed. After their one-sided chat, he'd resolved that he would definitely try out the whole 'talking thing' with Izzie as well, figuring that things couldn't get much worse than they were now. And since he was known for his honesty, maybe she'd even believe him if he spoke from his heart. After that revelation, Mer had decided that he couldn't just wait around for Izzie to come back any longer, he'd have to 'proactively seek her out' instead. The last piece of the puzzle had fallen into place with Cristina, and that's why he was currently speeding down I-5 in his former roommate's Jeep, high on caffeine and the anticipation of what was to come.

-----

_I love Cristina in this. LOVE! Do you agree or disagree? I'm really curious, because I've never written her before...Thanks for your continuous reviews, I really appreciate them :)_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N Thank you so very much for your lovely reviews! If I had more time I'd reply to them individually, but I hope you'll accept my thanks via author's note as well :D_

_-----_

Izzie Stevens was standing in her Mom's kitchen, spreading thick white frosting evenly over her freshly-baked carrot cake. The whole trailer smelled of pecans and cinnamon, a comforting aroma amidst the nauseating odor of tar that was currently being used to modernize the street just outside her mother's living room window. Grace had left to go to work in the early afternoon, leaving Izzie to figure out what to do with the rest of her day. Her Mom had provided a much-needed distraction this morning, showing her around Castle Rock and introducing her to the many 'friends' she had already made over the past few months.

No one knew her here, or anything about her really, and her Mom's acquaintances hadn't pried. They had just taken her visit as any outsider would; a daughter visiting her mother on her days off. That she had falsely called in sick hours ago – that was something even her Mom had no clue about. Even though her career choices were questionable, Grace Stevens was nothing if not hard-working, her only sick days ever used after giving birth to her daughter. She knew her mother's heart would break if she heard about the dishonest 'crime' her child had committed.

Bailey on the other hand hadn't questioned the call; instead, she had wished her well, not without commenting on how pale Izzie had looked the previous week and admonishing her on the fact that her health was to be top priority always.

Izzie felt bad for lying, but didn't know how she could have possibly made it to work today on zero sleep and an empty stomach, along with the uncertainty of her relationship status with her boyfriend. Izzie pondered the fact that she should probably call Alex while gently placing miniature marzipan carrots around the perimeter of the cake in perfect symmetry. Even though he had pissed her off yesterday, she wasn't cruel, and just too aware of the fact that he'd probably be worried sick by now. She also kind of owed Cristina a call, if only to let her know that her car was safe and sound.

--

Alex was dead on his feet. He'd arrived in Chehalis at around 10 a.m., on no sleep and tons of Red Bull, and had rather quickly found out that there was actually only one trailer park to speak of – but that one was huge. He hoped against all hope that Izzie didn't live on the far end of it, that he'd find the correct home without further delay, because if that wasn't the case, he had the distinct feeling that he would piss off many people today. For the first time ever he quietly thanked his lucky stars for having grown up in a semi-'ghettoesque' environment himself. At least that way, he wouldn't feel out of place.

Out of the first ten vehicles he tried out, four didn't answer at all, three told him to fuck off, one resident was too drunk to form words whatsoever and two had no clue who Izzie Stevens was and what the hell he was talking about anyway. Alex sighed while surveying the lot. Ten down, and from the looks of it, about three hundred to go. He'd better get a move on.

After twenty more minutes of unsuccessful attempts at locating his girlfriend, he came across an ugly looking olive green thing. The paint was fading and rust was creeping up on the poor vehicle, making it look like it could fall apart at any second. When his knock was answered almost immediately, Alex automatically took a step back. He didn't want to come across as too desperate or threatening in any way. He knew all too well what most people were likely hiding underneath their beds or in their cupboards – and he didn't want to be on the receiving end of it.

The woman who answered the door looked nonviolent and trustworthy enough, so Alex fell into his speech quickly.

"Hi, my name's Alex, how are you? Sorry to bother you this early, but I'm looking for Ms. Stevens. Would you happen to know where she lives, by any chance?"

The woman's face lit up immediately. "You know Grace? What a lovely lady, isn't she? Come on in, I'll call her for you…," the homeowner offered, apparently not caring about the fact that he could be an up and coming next-door serial killer. Maybe her naivety could work to his advantage, so Alex politely declined. "Thank you, that's very kind, but I was hoping to surprise her. I haven't seen her in ages and am passing through on business, so I figured I'd try my luck. I can't seem to remember the exact location of her lot though…," he trailed off, waiting for more clues from his conversational partner.

"Aw, I'm sure she'd be delighted," RV lady gushed, tightening her robe again out of habit. "I won't call her then," she added conspiratorially, "wouldn't wanna ruin the surprise. But you know, Grace actually moved a few months ago. Lives down in Castle Rock now, 'Frozen Island' I believe it's called."

Alex thanked his newfound favorite person warmly and quickly jogged back to Meredith's car. Now all he could do was hope that 'Grace' was indeed related to Izzie, because 'Stevens' wasn't that uncommon of a last name after all.

--

Izzie held the phone steady between her shoulder and her ear while placing the carrot cake in the fridge. Cristina answered after the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me, Izzie."

The woman on the other end of the line snorted. "Ugh. If I never hear your name again after what you put me through, I'm a happy camper. You know that I haven't had any sleep last night because of you? And neither has Meredith, and you know how she gets cranky and pessimistic when she hasn't had a good night's rest."

"Hey," came Meredith's protest from further away. "I don't get cranky and pessimistic. Now give me that phone," Izzie heard her former roommate bark.

"See?," Cristina managed to gloat, before being relieved of her cell phone, apparently against her will.

A second later, Meredith was on. "Izzie, where the hell are you? Alex is worried sick! And for the record, so am I," she chastised, sounding concerned indeed. "Have you eaten?", she added nervously, and Izzie briefly wondered how much the girls knew.

She decided to test her theory. "Have I eaten?" she replied, seemingly appalled. "Why?"

"Because Izzie! You need to take care of yourself…" Meredith requested slowly, as if speaking to a toddler about the importance of brushing their teeth.

Izzie sighed. "I can't keep anything to myself anyways, no use in eating…"

"That's what you get for making little devils with Evil Spawn," Christina cut in, obviously listening in on their conversation somehow.

At last Izzie had her answer, and she actually had to laugh. She'd been away for less than 24 hours, and yet she already missed her crazy, caring friends, who, weird or not, she had come to consider her family. And knowing that the two girls finally knew about her and Alex, as well as her and baby, felt like a big brick that had been lifted off her shoulders. Finally, she'd be able to rely on others for emotional (or in Cristina's case, not-so-emotional) support, and she hadn't realized how much she'd missed it. Maybe the whole thing had been a stupid idea from the start, after all no one should have to keep the love of their life a secret for any prolonged period of time.

Ten minutes later, and the girls had effectively managed to make Izzie feel bad enough to actually _want_ to call her boyfriend and apologize, even though deep down she still felt that it had been him who acted like an ass.

While she looked at her Mom's phone and willed her fingers to dial the dreaded numbers, there was a single knock on the unstable door. Now, Izzie generally was a positive, optimistic person, but she didn't deal too well with surprises.

She didn't like the spontaneity of them because she liked to be prepared, and had always been too inquisitive and nosy to be able to accept them unconditionally. That's why, when surprises came around, she tended to not handle them so well because she couldn't anticipate them in advance. Just like her first pregnancy. Just like her second pregnancy. And just like the one she wasn't prepared for when she opened the door to relentless pounding a minute later.

"Alex? What the hell…?

-----

_Sooo...what are we thinking? Next one's gonna be crucial guys :)_


	12. Chapter 12

_"Alex? What the hell…?"_

Izzie quickly glanced over her boyfriend's shoulder to find Meredith's old Jeep in her Mom's driveway. Questioning eyes found his worried gaze and she immediately felt sorry for what she had put him through. She wasn't thoughtless enough to think that he hadn't been worried at all, but looking at his worn-down features now, she assumed that he'd been through more than she could imagine.

She ushered him inside. "How did you find me? I just spoke to Mer and she said she didn't have a clue what…"

"Iz, I haven't slept in like 30 hours, so could you just, I don't know…shut up?"

Izzie complied with his request, an uncomfortable silence settling over the pair. She leaned back against the trailer door, hands folded across her chest. Her eyes followed him as Alex stood across from her a few feet away, looking out the window behind her, trying to gather the nerve to actually start a conversation.

Alex figured that talking to his girlfriend was somehow different than talking to Meredith, but then again, _everything _was different with Izzie. She represented many firsts for him, but most importantly, she was the first person he had ever truly been in love with. He didn't know if he should just tell her that or if he should rather start by explaining why he'd acted the way he had, which, inexplicably, was tied to the first sentiment in a weird way. Or rather, it seemed inexplicable to others. To him, it made more sense than anything. Maybe that's why it had been so easy to talk to his former roommate. Meredith was like his female counterpart when it came to emotions and all that crap. He had known she would understand. With Izzie, he wasn't so sure. When he finally chanced a quick glance at her beautiful face, he found she was looking up at him expectantly. And silently. She must have been immensely interested in what he had to say, otherwise he was sure she'd have interrupted the strained silence long before now, even if was only to offer him a drink or something along those lines.

He ran a nervous hand through his hair roughly, closing his eyes for a second. He didn't drive all that way just to be able to say nothing, and he sure as hell wasn't leaving before fixing things between Izzie and him, so he figured he'd just have to get it over with.

"You wanna go for a walk?"

Her voice was void of emotion when she replied. "There's nowhere to walk to."

"Ok…you wanna sit down?"

"No, I'm good right here," she stubbornly responded, and Alex briefly wondered how his child was going to turn out normal with parents like them. He smirked thinking about a gorgeous baby with a temper that would rival their own. They'd certainly have their hands full. All of a sudden he couldn't wait to meet the new little addition to their strangely odd family.

Izzie's clearing of her throat brought him back from his daydream, and the smirk dropped from his face. First things first. He took a deep breath and took a step closer to his girlfriend, who was still looking at him through guarded eyes. He couldn't blame her after what he'd put her though in the last couple of days.

"Alright Iz, here's the thing. I actually love you in a very grown-up way that a man loves a woman. Now, you're the first person I've ever told in my adult life, so for me to say that first is actually a big step." He took another deep breath and continued, steadily focusing on Izzie's face. "I'm telling you this because I was talking to Mer last night, and I realized that nobody here actually knows the first bit about me, and I'm thinking…I've been here for more than a year now, almost one and-a-half, and that's not normal. Everyone has their issues, their own shit to deal with, and talking about it apparently actually helps. According to Mer anyways. Do you know she's been seeing a shrink?"

Izzie quickly shook her head without uttering a single word, apparently too shocked to do anything else.

"Anyways, I'm sorry about yesterday. I can't even imagine what it's like giving up a child, but I reckon it's a pretty hardcore thing to do, and it definitely was brave. I respect that, regardless of what I said. Maybe you could've told me differently, but hey…I actually understand where you were coming from."

Alex started pacing up and down the small distance between the back of the couch and the dining room table, focusing on the main issue now.

"And about the baby. You know, I didn't have the nicest Dad in history, and there's actually much more to tell, so when I heard that I was going to be a father, my first thoughts were 'what if I turn out to be like him? what if I make the same mistakes, what if I damage my own child beyond repair?'. And I realize I should've said something, but well…I'm still working on the 'talking part'. But I love our baby already, and I'll always love him or her no matter what." He paused for a second, getting ready for the grand finale. "So to sum it up I'm sorry I love you love the baby please forgive me?" He spoke the last sentence quickly, without taking a breath, without stopping. Now he glanced at his girlfriend anxiously, awaiting her reaction.

Izzies' eyes were shining with unshed tears. "My God, what did Meredith do to you?"

Alex just shook his head and grinned hopefully. "That will never leave the four walls of her house, I can promise you that."

Izzie smiled tentatively. "I love her."

"Me too," Alex nodded. "That's why she's going to be the baby's godmother," he added matter-of-factly. His girlfriend raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"She said she deserved the honor if everything worked out between us."

"Is everything working out between us?", Izzie enquired hesitantly.

"You tell me," he replied, holding his breath. His happiness, his purpose in life, hell, his whole future depended on her answer, and he hoped his nervousness didn't show. True, he had just bared his soul, but he had to keep some of the 'manly man mystery' to himself if he didn't want to be known as whimpy Alex. He knew it was ridiculous, but those feelings were a part of him and he didn't think he'd ever be able to change that.

Izzie seemed to contemplate her answer. She figured she shouldn't make it too easy on him after the way he'd acted recently, although she realized she wasn't without blame either. Childishly running off at the first sign of trouble usually wasn't her thing, but maybe she could blame her pregnancy hormones. She didn't want to forget what had happened, but really, she'd been ready to forgive Alex thirty seconds into his perfect little speech. She took a cautious step away from the door and into his direction, lessening the physical distance between them ever so slightly, step by step, until she came to a halt right in front of him. She looked straight into his hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry too, for just disappearing like that. It was immature and stupid. Ok?"

"Ok," Alex agreed. "No more immature and stupid stuff."

Neither of the pair made a move, so they held their position for a minute or two without uttering another word. The anger had dissipated and forgiveness was palpable, although it was mostly left unspoken. They were on the same page once again, they could both feel it. There really wasn't any reason to mess that connection up with further conversation, so the couple was silently challenging each other to take the first step. There was a slight twinkle in Alex's eyes when he hooked his fingers through the belt loops of Izzie's jeans and gently pulled her towards him until she was pressed flush against his body. He leaned forward slightly to meet her soft lips, gently kissing her for only a second. When he pulled back, Izzie faintly smiled her appreciation and in that instant, he knew everything was going to work out somehow. Feeling like a heavy burden was lifted off his chest, Alex tenderly captured her lips with his own again, sending shivers down Izzie's spine. She brought her hands up and linked them around his neck, deepening the kiss. They continued making out in the middle of her Mom's living room until the need for air registered and they pulled apart at the same time.

The blonde doctor grinned, suddenly feeling completely content and carefree for the first time in weeks. "You wanna go for a walk now?"

Alex feigned surprise. "I thought there was nowhere to walk to?"

Izzie playfully rolled her eyes while grabbing his hand and pulling him out the door. "So…seriously, Mer as godmother? Don't you think our baby will be damaged enough as it is?"

Alex just laughed while following his girlfriend out into the chilly afternoon air.

-----

_Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. It might be my favorite of all the ones I've written :) Thanks!!!_


	13. Chapter 13

Grace Stevens stood on her porch, waving off two cars that were heading out of her driveway and watched until they merged onto the main street down the road. When they were out of sight, she closed her front door and smiled to herself, a content look etched on her features. Finally her little darlin' seemed to have made the right decision concerning men, and Grace approved wholeheartedly.

She'd come home late last night to find another car in her driveway, wondering who the second surprise visitor would be. She'd noticed that all the lights were off inside and had entered the trailer quietly. When Izzie was nowhere to be found Grace had silently opened the door to her old bedroom to find her daughter sound asleep, a satisfied smile on her face, and wrapped securely in the arms of what she assumed was her grandson's (at least that's what her psychic had predicted) father.

When she awoke this morning, the kids had already been up for a while, and breakfast was prepared on the table. Izzie had made her famous pancakes, and finally, she'd been properly introduced to what she hoped was her future son-in-law.

Alex had seemed unsure at first, as if he didn't know how to deal with all the attention and affection she had showered him with, and at that particular moment, he had seemed like the shy little boy she imagined he'd been when he was growing up. Grace didn't know much about his past, but from the few details Izzie had passed on to her while Alex was using the restroom, her heart went out to him, and she swore to herself that she'd become the mother he didn't have anymore.

Grace sighed happily. She'd have to take up knitting again soon, so her grandson would have handmade goodies to wear once he was born.

--

As Alex was following behind Izzie as she navigated her way back out of Castle Rock and onto the freeway, he thought back on yesterday. Everything that had had the potential of blowing up in his face had turned out to be harmless at best. Izzie had accepted his apology with grace and tolerance that only she possessed, and he'd been so ecstatic to have her back in his arms that he hadn't even cared that she'd run off without a single word. On their hour-long talk during their stroll around the neighborhood they had both resolved to start changing some patterns that had crept into their still new relationship. Izzie had vowed to never hold back anything from him again just because she was worried about his reaction and he had promised to start participating in the 'emotional' side of their partnership. It wasn't always going to be easy, as least they'd both agreed on that, but he figured that as long as they were on the same page, nothing major would come between them.

--

Izzie was singing along to Madonna's 'Like a Virgin', pushing Cristina's old stereo to the max. She was happy for the first time in weeks, and it was the best feeling in the whole wide world. She turned the volume down when she felt her cell phone vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans, opening it without looking at the caller ID first.

"Hello?"

"You know you can't hold a tune, so do me a favor and stop singing. You're gonna scare my child."

Izzie blushed slightly at being caught rocking out in Cristina's old Ford Taurus, but didn't show it. "Do _me _a favor and concentrate on the road. We're both handling other peoples' cars. And what are you doing anyways, checking out girls while driving?"

"Only if they're as hot as you."

"Please! You're lips are moving yet all I can hear is bla bla bla," Izzie joked, her right hand forming a talking motion in front of the rearview mirror so he would be able to see.

Alex grinned to himself. "Will you go home with me tonight?"

Izzie feigned shock. "Oh my gosh! Didn't you just tell me you were expecting a baby? What would its mother say?"

"I think she'd be pretty ok with it if she knew what I'm planning to do to her…" he trailed off.

"Consider it a date," Izzie laughed while hanging up and throwing her phone on the passenger seat. She looked back quickly to find a highly amused Alex in the other car. She was _really _looking forward to tonight.

--

When Alex and Izzie pulled up in front of Meredith's house, their former roommate was already waiting in her doorway, a stern look in place. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was tapping a foot against her wooden deck impatiently.

Izzie had the decency to look somewhat guilty while pulling the fellow doctor into a tight hug and holding on for a few more seconds than necessary. "Thank you…I'm sorry," she whispered into her friends ear, squeezing her again before letting go.

Meredith just smiled and nodded her understanding before moving on to Alex, greeting him as well. "So…?" That little word held so much curiosity, Izzie didn't know where to start explaining. Apparently Alex was able to read between the lines, because he answered immediately. "Yes, yes and no."

That statement was seemingly enough for Meredith because she just smiled a genuine smile and ushered them inside. "I'm so proud of you guys."

Izzie looked back and forth between two of the most important people in her life, not understanding a single thing. "Yes, yes and no to what?"

Both friends just shrugged their shoulders and moved on to the kitchen where Meredith had already prepared some coffee. Izzie raised her eyebrows and followed them slowly. "Seriously Mer. What did you do to him?"

Her former roommate just grinned. "We had a little chat. From damaged soul to damaged soul so to speak," she kidded. "Did you hear that I'm going to be godmother to your son?"

"I'm having a son?" Izzie repeated curiously.

"You better. I don't do so well with girlie stuff, as you know," Meredith stated matter-of-factly.

Alex chose this moment to return from the coffee machine, holding a cup for himself and offering a mug of hot tea to his girlfriend. He placed the latter in front of Izzie and put his free arm around her shoulders while kissing her cheek. "I kinda promised her a boy. Sorry about that," he interrupted.

Izzie shrugged her shoulders, nodding her acceptance. "Well then…", she raised her mug, "…cheers to baby boy."

"Cheers!", both Mer and Alex echoed, clinking their coffee cups together. And while Meredith started to fill Alex in on his latest patient that she had taken over for him, Izzie leaned into her boyfriend and smiled contently. Her baby was certainly going to grow up with some weird, crazy people, but at least he or she would always be loved.

-----

_I'm sorry this is so short, I wanted to make it longer, but I'm kinda stuck on it and thought posting this would be better than posting nothing ;) Reviews are love :D:D:D_


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N This is sort of the last chapter of this fic, already combined with epilogue and everything, because unfortunately I have absolutely no time to come up with anything else at the moment. Hope you enjoy :)_

_-----_

A couple of hours later, after the pair had dropped off Cristina's car quickly and without much hassle, they were on their way home. As they walked side by side, Alex mustered Izzie quietly, obviously in a contemplative mood.

She gave him a gentle nudge with her shoulder while tugging at his hand, glancing up at him sideways. "Remember, more talking, less wondering."

Alex smiled down at her. "I was just thinking…Do you mind my little deal with Meredith? You were kinda quiet earlier."

Izzie shook her head immediately, negating his suspicions. "I couldn't think of anyone better, honestly. I was just wondering what 'yes, yes and no' meant, that's all. _But,_" she added instantly, "I know it's none of my business. I want you to have secrets with her if it helps keep you the way you are," she joked, not really meaning what she was saying. She _had _wondered about the seemingly wordless understanding the two friends had shared earlier, and was curious.

"But you'd still like to know, wouldn't you?", Alex smirked.

Izzie scrunched her nose and shook her head determinedly to prove her point. "Absolutely not."

"You're cute when you're all nosy," was Alex's only comeback.

"I'm not nosy. I have an innate curiosity that fuels my need for knowledge. It's one of my strengths," she replied seriously.

Alex just laughed at her. "You're nosy. What happened about being more honest no matter how you think I'll react?"

She shoved him harder this time. "Whatever. I don't want to know."

"Ok," Alex shrugged, "so I won't say anything."

A few minutes passed in silence, each of the couple seemingly lost in their own thoughts over their recent exchange. They were strolling along the sidewalk side by side, each contemplating how to start the next part of their conversation. Just as Izzie was about to open her mouth, Alex beat her to the punch.

"Do you think we should paint the nursery yellow? Because I _hate_ that pastel-ly yellow people use just because they have no clue what sex their baby is going to be. I don't want to be one of those unimaginative…"

"Unimaginative what?"

"…losers."

Izzie eyed her boyfriend skeptically. "You think people with yellow nurseries are losers?"

The man beside her just nodded. "Pretty much."

"Huh…," she stated distractedly, not indicating any preference on the matter. Her mind seemed to be somewhere else entirely, so Alex started blabbering on about his apparent strong dislike of people who put yellow on walls of their own volition – nursery or otherwise.

When he stopped his detailed explanation to take a breath what felt like twenty minutes later, Izzie saw her chance to direct the topic of conversation back to what was _really _on her mind. And wall colors were pretty much on the bottom of her long list of subject matters, pretty much on the same level as rootbeer floats and christmas carols. A very different issue was penetrating her thoughts right about now, and as hard as she tried, she just couldn't hold back her next question.

"So you're really not telling me?"

Alex seemed genuinely lost for a second, as if he truly couldn't follow her thought process just now. "Tell you what?"

Izzie lowered her voice, slightly embarrassed. "About yes, yes, and no…"

Alex laughed out loud. "What happened to 'I don't want to know, I'm not nosy, you don't _have _to tell me?'"

Izzie frowned slightly. Should she really give in and admit that she was indeed dead-curious about what had been going on between her boyfriend and her former roommate, or should she just trust his instincts and accept that not every single thing in his life was meant for her prying ears?

Alex seemed to notice her internal struggle because he pulled at her hand, halting her movement and effectively bringing her to stand in front of him on the sidewalk, a couple of blocks from their new apartment complex. He turned serious and looked deep into her eyes.

"Yes, we made up, yes, Mer still gets to be baby boy's godmother, and no, there's no chance in hell I'm ever letting you go again."

Izzie teared up instantly. She gazed up into his hazel eyes, a soft smile on her lips, and spoke diectly from her heart. "I love you Alex."

Her boyfriend grinned down at her, shaking his head slightly. "I love you too. Now come here…' He pulled her into a tight embrace, the remaining tension leaving her body as she felt safe and secure in his arms.

And while they were standing in the middle of the street holding onto each other, they knew that this was forever, and neither one of the pair had any doubts about it.

_~~~ Epilogue ~~~_

Jayden Michael Karev was the most gorgeous baby on the planet, or so everyone said. Izzie didn't care if they were lying, because for her, no statement could be more accurate. Born two weeks early, her baby boy was an absolute delight to be around. He smiled when he saw Mommy, he cried quietly when he was hungry, and he was like the brightest sunshine even if the rain was pouring down all around.

Currently he was sleeping soundly in his crib, one fist half-stuffed into his tiny mouth for comfort, while his Mom was standing in front of his bed, watching his small chest rise and fall in perfect intervals.

Izzie was so absorbed in her little bundle of joy that she didn't even realize another presence in the room until Alex draped an arm over her shoulder and kissed her hair, his way of saying hello. She jumped a little and put a hand over her heart.

"Jeez, you scared me!"

"Sorry," he whispered distractedly, with little regret, staring at his son in awe. It still amazed him sometimes that something so perfect could have come from two so imperfect individuals. The first time he had laid eyes on his son he'd fallen in love, and that feeling still grew with every single day. The same was true for his son's mother, and the fact that he could share those feelings with her now was another milestone in his history.

"What are you doing home? It's early…", Izzie interrupted his thoughts, looking up at him quizzically.

"So what?" Alex shrugged his shoulders. "You don't wanna share my perfect baby?"

Izzie rolled her eyes. "First of all it's _my _perfect baby. I pushed him out, in case you forgot. And secondly, I'll share anything with you," she added sweetly.

"Ugh, so cheesy. Does that come with being a Mom?"

Izzie laughed. "Oh, just shut up. You know you love it," she taunted.

"I do actually," he replied lightly, before pressing a kiss to her temple and looking back down at his peaceful child.

Izzie smiled to herself. Alex had grown up so much in the past year, sometimes she couldn't believe she was with the same person. The beauty of it was that she _was _though_, _he'd just emerged as an improved version. They had both made good on their trailer park promise to talk things through, and Izzie actually believed that it made all the difference. And when she observed their baby, that they both loved unconditionally, she knew they'd always do everything within their power to stay as understanding and happy as they were now.

She sighed quietly. "They're growing up so quick, don't you think?"

Alex grinned down at her. "He's two months old!" She shook her head exasperatedly. Ever the voice of reason, her beloved boyfriend.

"So?", she pouted. "It feels like just yesterday when we made him, and now look what happened! Soon he'll be out chasing everything in a skirt."

Alex nodded proudly, wiggling his eyebrows. "That's my boy."

Izzie slapped him across the chest with the back of her hand, reaching to turn off the light in the nursery at the same time as Alex pulled her closer to him. When she was nestled comfortably in his arms, swaying softly to the non-existing music, he whispered into her ear mischievously. "Wanna try to make another one?" His eyes were gleaming from excitement at the prospect, and in reality, she couldn't wait to welcome another addition to their little family. Preferably not for another couple of years at least, but the fact alone that he was suggesting it brought the purest of smiles to her face. She leaned up to press a quick kiss to his still-grinning lips. "We could always practice," she teased, before shutting off the lights and leading him back to their bedroom.

-----

_Tadaaaaa! I give you…the end! Can't believe I actually made it. I know the epilogue was cheesy, but everyone's happy, and that's what counts, right? :D Thank you for reading, I honestly appreciate your time, and THANK YOU for every single comment I got, they truly inspired me. That said, feel free to review one last time!!!_


End file.
